concentrate!

photorealistic painting

2010-04-22T17:12:00.000-07:00

Taking a photo and then painting or rendering it exactly strikes me as little more than the artists love affair with technique and material. I suppose I am more interested in concept than process.

stop thief

2010-02-16T11:09:00.000-08:00

Someone found the card I accidently left inside the ATM and they withdrew $400.

I feel that I would never do that. I would take the card, and return it to the bank, and get my jollies out of doing so.

But other than those jollies, what incentive do I really have to be a nice person. Whether I take that money or not, someone may or may not do the same or similar f-ed up thing to me next week. Is it f-ed up? Did I deserve it and should I pay for not guarding myself? Minor annoyance, moral superiority, I'm getting my money back, I'm not really hurt. The bank pays it... So technically they stole, and I allowed them by not assuming fault, from every citizen in the U.S., consider bank bail outs, interest rates. So what this person did was just a little more personal than cheating on their taxes. Should I say, oh well, mystery person, I hope you enjoyed that money, I hope you really needed it?

things that don't seem to matter

2010-01-20T11:00:00.000-08:00

In order to be "a real artist" one must learn technique. In order to be "a great artist" one must be able to forget all that technique and work beyond it.

Blah, blah, blah

We need evil in order to recognize good.

Blah, blah, blah

faux bourgeois ennui

2010-01-17T13:06:00.000-08:00

At any given moment I am deceiving myself about --who knows-- maybe hundreds of things. And then I realize everything I have thought has been all wrong. Or wait...

Life made more sense, or at least, didn't make as much nonsense,
when I was younger and hadn't had the time to think so much.

ME MORE ZEN THAN YOU
HEE HEE HEE

Walking

2010-01-16T10:34:00.000-08:00

Sitting between two hills, down by a river...

Watching infinite systems within systems, listening to water and wind and people yelling at their dogs.

This stream, a United States of America stream, a California stream.
"Hey stream, do you ever feel patriotic?"

Oh look, gorgeous rock! How stupefyingly marvelous. I'll take a thousand pictures, try to draw it. There now, mosey along. Oh. Look. Another one. They're everywhere. Keep walking.

Up on a hill, off the trail...
I'm quite high now but it makes no difference because I do not have a view of what's below.

This hillside. Squishy earth under my feet. This hillside is a thoroughfare: Birds in the trees. Cats. Squirrels. People like me, who just want a view, somewhere to be with a special kind of light, sitting down. There is still some sun left...

BUGS!
Bad things can happen. It's much easier to travel on a path.

spider

2010-01-15T09:28:00.000-08:00

Encounter a spider, consider it's fate. Visualize squashing it with my foot. Magnanimously decide to let spider live. The spider pauses. Runs hesitantly, stops. Runs again. And me, in a field, on the street, in a parking lot. i wonder who decided not to step?

Haiti

2010-01-14T10:24:00.000-08:00

So, thousands dead in Haiti. It's unreal. Oh, this beautiful poem of existence. But is it any different from... poisoning an ant nest? Hive of wasps? Of course it's different, of course it's different... but is it? We assign value based on intelligence, beauty, youth... isn't that mostly arbitrary to human perception? Animals and nature certainly take no compunction about ascertaining value before destroying. Some things are merely obvious--a hurricane or earthquake can be foreseen, measures can be taken to protect oneself from damages. Therefore, intelligence may seem to be a virtue and nature may seem to be on the side of it, but is not. But we humans value our intelligence and consider ourselves worth more than all other things and a huge earthquake in Haiti is of course a horrifying tragedy while poisoning the ant nest is a matter of course. "They're just bugs and they're getting in my house." But the scary thing, the suffering and pain, is all to the natural world, to wherever life originates, a matter of course so small it is not even a blip on the radar.

I'm fine with that but not so much the pain and suffering part. \
______
This is all just in case I die.
______

Mister Rogers

2010-01-12T12:58:00.000-08:00

A Mister Rogers video, touring a factory where sneakers are made. A woman working quickly and mechanically. Mister Rogers to another guy: "I wonder if she ever thinks about the people who will wear the shoes." Other man, "I bet she does!"

The moral of Harriet the Spy:

2010-01-11T12:56:00.000-08:00

If everyone finds out what you really think, they will hate you.

clothes

2009-12-23T09:47:00.000-08:00

I was getting dressed this morning and everything I put on looked forced, unnatural, trying too hard. Why not a robe. A jumpsuit. Monkeys wearing clothes, playing house, so many of us "identify" ourselves as like everyone else. Trends. I do follow some. I watch them. I like to dress up sometimes, express myself within the prescribed framework. On the other hand, I don't care, either. Yet there is also a uniform for the many manifestations of the "I don't care" crowds. If I owned a full body jumpsuit I would probably be wearing it today. At least around the house.

"I don't care and I'm kind of a hippy!"
"I don't care and I drink a lot of beer."
"I don't care and I'm rather intellectual. Maybe a professor somewhere."
"I don't care and I'm quite the athlete."
"I don't care and I play basketball with my friends in long, shiny shorts."
"I don't care and I like guys that drink beer."
"I don't care and I shop at walmart."
"I don't care and I have a blog and wear jumpsuits to buck society."

drawing

2009-12-19T01:01:00.000-08:00

My latest drawing.

Something I did last week with oil pastels and some acrylic. This is from a photo I took while hiking this summer around Muir Woods.

And here is something I did a couple of weeks ago for a class.

bad year

2009-11-30T00:44:00.000-08:00

ink, pen & brush

digital collage

2009-11-05T16:15:00.000-08:00

I came upon some digital collages I made a couple of years ago and thought I'd post up a couple of them. It's a lot of fun to make these things... I used to be a compulsive "right click, save"-er ...so much so that I had to catalog all my found pictures into categories so I could make collages with them. I admit though, I have far more found pictures than completed collages.

standoff.

found.

I made these with Microsoft Picture It! (which is a lot more intuitive to learn than Photoshop) but my old computer couldn't open it anymore without crashing. Now that I'm all modern with a new laptop I'm making myself learn Photoshop. Actually that's why I had to get modern with a new laptop, against my will, even if I wanted to install the Creative Suite on the old beast, I couldn't run it. Alas, I have much more work to do learning Photoshop before I can make more collages.

seasons

2009-10-06T16:17:00.000-07:00

I am thinking about how every year I go through changes with the seasons. For example, this year in May I felt a little crazed and depressed and remembered that I always feel emotionally disrupted in May. I looked back over several years journal entries for confirmation. Every May has many more journal entries than any other month and at least at some point every May I have written some moody poetry – perhaps for the only time all year.

Lately when I think about where I want to live in the future, it has occurred to me that at this point in my life, my personality seems well-suited for living someplace cold with a barren landscape all winter – because I am a moody bitch and like to be isolated. (smiley) I believe my personality is well suited to being forced indoors to work on projects and be stationary. No sun shining down and plants growing to force me outside to engage with people and the world. All the life outside calling to me, beckoning to me; is a reprimand for any day I don’t seize. I like rainy days in summer. I have felt relieved on rainy days in spring and summer – they are an excuse and permission to cuddle up and work in the interior of the house on the interior of my mind and my family.

Every year fall is a time of happiness and freshness for me. Not entirely because my inner hermit looks forward to a winter of excuses. I feel a sense of possibility and energy in the fall and winter. It’s not so difficult to imagine that the human body undergoes some fundamental change through the seasons, like the hibernation or dormancy of some plant and animal life in winter. The entire world goes through cycles based around seasons... As I woman I already know that I have a cycle that physically and emotionally changes me every month.

I would like to learn more about science and human cycles. Searching “human beings and the seasons” the first relevant result I found is from a Tibetan Buddhist site.

This is one of my favorite photos from this summer, taken along the Dipsea Trail near Muir Woods.

orange and yellow rose

2009-09-06T01:35:00.001-07:00

orange and yellow rose, originally uploaded by cutejuice1.

I took this photo back in June, added some effects tonight while giving my brain a 5 minute break from homework. I've been whirling through a lot creative activities lately. It's been about a month now since I've set up my office. I've got a full-blown studio over here (and for the first time in my life, a shelf for every book!) It's very exciting.

poetry

2009-08-13T17:34:00.000-07:00

I bought a child size desk at a garage sale awhile ago and use it as a table on my front porch.

One day when opening the drawer I noticed some fading ball point writing inside. Sorry to disappoint the several people who dislike my little desk, but I will not be painting over it.

Air Plants Hanger

2009-08-07T00:16:00.001-07:00

Last weekend at the Arts & Wine Festival I picked up some Air Plants, aka Tillandsia Bromeliads. They are called Air Plants because they can grow in just the air - no soil needed. All the care they need is a soak in water about every few weeks. I've been wanting some of these for awhile and couldn't resist the very reasonable prices ($3-4/ea) at the festival. But how to hang them? I could stick them inside the hole of a rock or piece of wood, but instead I made a driftwood mobile plant hanger for our shower.

I had this idea that plants in the shower would solve all our problems. Digging through lush vines to adjust the faucet -- it would be like showering in the jungle, and eternal happiness would follow. Ahh. Well that idea still hasn't come to fruition (yet! just need the right vine and pot) but my Air Plants, which are native to rain forests, will love my shower, I am told. I have a window so they receive plenty of indirect sun, and the moisture will likely keep them happy between waterings.

Enough chatter: behold! A shower air plant mobile!

Macramé Plant Hanger

2009-08-05T11:57:00.000-07:00

I recently tried my luck with macramé (knotting) to produce a plant hanger for a gorgeous plant I picked up. I had an idea to use bright pink string because while I was thinking about what sort of string to use I saw bright pink nylon marking string at a friend's house. It's a bit.. bright pink. And perhaps next time I ought to actually follow the pattern. But here she is!

The plant deserves glory in a shot of its own. The common name for this is "Prayer Plant". I love the leaves, and hanging near a window it is easy to care for. It is actually an indoor plant so it will not remain hanging on my tree. It is just now far too heavy in its new pot and freshly watered to risk hanging back on the curtain rod it had been temporarily hanging on.

Salad

2009-07-22T23:17:00.001-07:00

I entered my Lettuce Planter into a recycling contest. Give this site a look..

New Soul

2009-07-17T19:14:00.001-07:00

I recently discovered that I love this song, and its video even more. The video actually moves me to tears--simple as it is. I just watched it again after a few months and had the same reaction.

I've had many moments in my life where I've looked through a hole and realized how stuck inside myself I have been, and blind to all the beauty and the sense of wonder that comes from being where I am--stepping outside the illusion I've created.

Toe separation, update

2009-07-13T19:07:00.000-07:00

I'm back to my pet topic: my feet. Since my last post, the topic of toes came up with my mother, and evidently my problem is maternally inherited. I have found out that my toe issue is a fairly common deformity sometimes refered to as "curly toe". I want to share photographic evidence of why I am a toe separator devotee. Sorry to anybody who hates looking at feet; feet haters had better run now!

Here is the separation in action. I put these babies on and then left them on for about 40 minutes.

Click to enlarge
In the left photo you can clearly see my smallest two toes on each foot are curling under, and my toes look generally smashed together. In the right, post-separation photo, the toes are all much more separated and straightened. I also took before and after video of me attempting to wiggle my toes, but there is no noticeable improvement.

I wear yoga socks under my sneakers if I am walking a lot (the kind that look like gloves for feet). I wear my yoga sandals nearly constantly now that it's summer. I bought Pampered Toes by Ped Egg and I wear them basically every night. I even tried to do physical therapy on myself using pieces of string one time. But alas! One day of wearing flats and my toes are back to the "curly" state. And if I try to wiggle my smallest toe, I can only wiggle the smallest three toes at once.

But in the interest of educating the public, toe separation is not toe rape, as I am sometimes accused of when I wear my yoga sandals. It is highly relaxing and, as you can see clearly above, good for your feet (while flats and especially heels are correspondingly bad... or if not bad, at least toe-smashing!) The results cannot be denied.

Salad Bag & Pinecone

2009-07-06T17:46:00.000-07:00

This is from awhile ago, but I am posting it now. I am still smitten with this.

It is self explanatory: a bag of potting soil wrapped in strips of duct tape, slightly elevated over the board with holes poked around the bottom for drainage, and a square cut out of the top. I had to set it on something, and the board chosen as that something was very dull until it met me. The painting has been a work in progress over many weeks, using up leftover paint from other projects bit by bit wherever the mood struck. I cannot take the credit for all of it, occasionally Ada has assisted me.

Then I painted an equally flamboyant pinecone friend for it so that my salad board might not be alone in this world:

I was inspired by the colors in these gorgeous pictures in my favorite inspirational blog.

Lemon Lampshade

2009-07-02T18:34:00.001-07:00

I decided what I would do with the lemon peel slices that I dehydrated recently: decorate a lampshade. I was channeling Dr. Seuss for my inspiration.

This is what the lampshade looked like before. The lemons looked like that before, too.

Here is the close-up look. The lampshade is painted turquoise and varnished (it appears more blue here, but it is turquoise!) I used a hot glue gun to attach dehydrated lemon slices, and a string of white puffballs. And voilà!

I think the Lorax would approve.

bathroom art

2009-07-02T16:10:00.000-07:00

Painted on a piece of wood that came from the bottom lining of a cigar box. This photo is weird, but I am too lazy to remove it from behind the glass frame to try to improve the colors. My title "Bathroom art" is not a critical value judgement describing the perceived quality of this art, or a description; it is titled this because it hangs in my bathroom.

Altered Landscapes

2009-07-02T11:00:00.000-07:00

This is an area of the Santa Cruz mountains that burned last year, and feels very dusty and dry. This photo shows the contrast of the dead trees in bleak sky, and the new, green growth coming up on the exposed mountain top.

The mountains in the horizon looked like watermarks in a watercolor painting. I emphasized the effect so it would look manmade, then turned it on its side.

This is another image of burned area, looking like it is being transmitted through a post-apocalyptic TV set with a threshold effect and graininess.

Photos

2009-06-25T12:45:00.000-07:00

Here are some photos I've taken recently. I am learning to use Photoshop and it's quite exciting to practice on my own pictures. I love saturation! I wish I could add saturation and vibrance to my entire world, so that it could be, as Justin says, "Like a Claritin commercial". (The spot healing brush would also come in handy.)

These were taken in San Francisco, near Telegraph Hill.

mailbag

2009-02-12T12:50:00.000-08:00

It's time I opened up the mailbag!

Dear concentrate!,
People have been talking a lot lately about a miracle cleaning product that I haven't been able to find in stores. It is called, "Elbow Grease." What can you tell me about it and where can I get it?

Sally in Lincoln, NE

Dear Sally,
Thank you for your letter. You were right to ask. I shudder to think of people going around recommending Elbow Grease to one another, and I am happy to set you straight before any harm comes to you. The main ingredient of Elbow Grease is a highly volatile, noxious substance and not suitable for regular home use. I strongly urge you to protect your well-being by leaving its application to trained professionals.

toes

2008-12-11T15:33:00.000-08:00

I've been stretching my toes for over a year now. I guess you could say it is a new hobby of mine, or perhaps you would call it a fascinating adventure. It started when I noticed I could not wiggle my 2 littlest toes and that they were starting to curl under. I saw a podiatrist about it and he just shrugged and was all, "well there's a surgery but you don't need it." I couldn't stand the thought of walking on these lifeless little toes that refused to straighten or react to the demands of my brain so I began on a journey of toe separation. I would sleep with the pedicure toe separators on and keep them on while reading, wiggling my toes while doing so, trying to train the muscles in my toes. At first it would hurt after awhile, but it feels so relaxing. I finally bought sandals that separate my toes while walking and next I am getting these to be just that little bit more hard-core:

Results so far: My two little toes are somewhat straighter and have slightly better muscle control. Slight results are still results.

eggs

2008-11-13T22:48:00.000-08:00

I have always struggled with making hard-boiled eggs. I always start the process meaning to follow directions perfectly but they haven't seemed to ever work out for me. Justin makes perfect hard-boiled eggs: they peel like a dream and are cooked perfectly all the way through. Mine are usually extremely difficult to peel and/or have partially uncooked yolk. A character in the book I am reading tonight just made hard-boiled eggs and I got the bug. I called Justin saying, "tell me again, how exactly do you hard-boil an egg?" He told me nothing new (I have asked him about his strategy many times) but this time he added, "usually I forget about them and do something else." I took this to heart. I forgot about them two times. Once as they were boiling, and once as they were still sitting on the stove with the heat off. I have just finished my second (i am a glutton when I have cravings) perfect hard-boiled egg. And I put in half the mental effort. Hard-boiled eggs: they must be a metaphor for a lot of things.

The Terrible Trivium... and knitting

2008-10-30T14:45:00.000-07:00

I learned to knit last summer but haven't knitted much other than scarves. I recently picked it up again and made a few simple things (scarves and a belt). Now, this post is somewhat colored by the fact that my right hand is seizing up in pain at the moment, but I started to feel really negative about the act of knitting today. Other times I might feel zen, relaxed, somewhat folksy and even earthy and wise. When I first began knitting again a couple of weeks ago, my husband looked over at me and said, "There's something comforting about you knitting." There is. It's homey, warm, cozy.

But there are also knitting machines.

When I was thinking dark thoughts about this earlier, I was reminded of a scene from the movie of my childhood favorite book, The Phantom Tollbooth.

Welcome to my new blog.